A Tradition of Service
Brian Farragher, LMSW, MBA is the Chief Operating Officer at ANDRUS and has been with the organization for 25 years. He will be a regular on this blog commenting on working in the field of human services and children’s issues.
On Saturday, January 5th I had the honor and privilege to travel to Minneapolis, Minnesota to attend the memorial service of John E. Andrus III. The service was both moving and inspiring. As I listened to his daughters and grandchildren share their memories, it was clear this little man was a real giant. He made a big difference in the lives of many people and obviously had a lot of fun in the process. It was a great joy to meet so many Andrus family members at the reception that followed the service and to reconnect with some familiar faces who, once upon a time, served on the Board of the “Children’s Home” with Mr. Andrus. We were all younger back in those days.
I am now sitting in seat 11B on my way home, thinking about my weekend and the good fortune I have had in my life. I am reflecting on how so much of that good fortune intersects with the Andrus family and their legacy. It was good to see how many Andrus family members know about and appreciate the amazing work that has taken place at the Julia Dyckman Andrus Memorial over the last 85 years, almost everyone I spoke to had read the “Agency of the Month” article and felt good about what they read. It was nice to know there remains a sense of pride in the Memorial, the original family philanthropy, and an appreciation for what a special gift this organization has been to generations of children and families trying to make their way in a complicated and sometimes unforgiving world.
Those of us who work at The Children’s Home, Julia Dyckman Andrus Memorial, Andrus (it is known by a lot of different names) feel an awesome responsibility; the responsibility that comes with being good stewards, not of an organization, but of a belief; the belief that each of us, in our own way and means, has an obligation to make the world a better place. Yesterday I attended the memorial of John E Andrus III and tomorrow morning I return to the Memorial founded by his grandfather 85 years ago. I am returning with a renewed sense of purpose. We are not stewards of a place called the Julia Dyckman Andrus Memorial, we are stewards of a legacy…a legacy of philanthropy, of a belief that we are our brother’s keepers, a legacy that insists that those who have much have a responsibility to help those less fortunate.
I feel proud to be connected in some small way to that legacy. I feel honored to be a steward of that legacy and I feel hopeful and grateful that the spirit of our founder, John E. Andrus, was so much a part of his grandson’s life and continues to live and thrive in this amazing family.
In Memory of John E. Andrus III
Nancy Woodruff Ment, LCSW, is the President and CEO at ANDRUS.
The closing days of 2012 marked the end of an era for the Andrus family and the Andrus Family Philanthropies. On December 27, John E. Andrus III, grandson of our founder and his wife, Julia, died in Minneapolis at age 103. While age had slowed him in recent years, he remained a sharp and insightful man, proud to carry his family’s legacy of service forward. In December, 1934, he had served as an honorary pall bearer for his grandfather who died at age 93. Both of their lives offer stories of the richness of American history in the 19th and 20th centuries.
The first John E. Andrus was born in the mid-19th century into a Methodist family of very limited financial means. His interest in building a fortune never conflicted with the strong religious values he established in childhood. He lived comfortably but modestly compared to others of his era who consumed conspicuously. He instilled in his children the commitment to give to others. His son, John E. Andrus II, established a base in Minneapolis where he was entrusted with managing mid-western components of the family’s business interests. John E. III, unlike his grandfather, was born into privilege but always took on the challenge of social responsibility. Like his grandfather and many other members of the family, he graduated from Wesleyan University, itself a prominent beneficiary of Andrus philanthropy. He went on to graduate from the University of Minnesota Law School and practiced Law in Florida until he joined the U.S. Army, serving in the South Pacific as an Artillery and Staff Officer. After the War, he returned to Minnesota where he established his own corporation in metal fabrication, heading it for 30 years. Over his long and productive life, he accepted numerous commitments of civic and social responsibility. His special interests were the Nature Conservancy and the Minneapolis Institute of Arts. No interests, however, took precedence over the Andrus Family Philanthropies. In his long tenure as Director and Chairman of the Surdna Foundation, he was responsible for building its assets and expanding its broad reach in funding communities in need. He served on our Board of Directors, as well as Andrus on Hudson, for more than 50 years. In 2003, he allowed us to honor him at our Spring Gala, for his extraordinary commitment to our children. Last year, with the support of his three daughters, he made a significant gift to ANDRUS to support programming in Hope Space because he so appreciated the concept of using nature to enrich the lives of children.
From the 1970′s through the 1990′s, there was a tradition at Andrus of holding a Graduation Luncheon in May for the Board, the staff and the children in the Orchard School. It was an occasion to honor our eighth grade graduates as well as staff who had earned degrees. We held it in the gym with tables arranged much as they are for the Holiday Fair. Most Directors, understandably, would come and sit with people they knew, either staff or other Directors. Mr. Andrus, however, always arrived with a big smile and asked, “where are the children sitting because that’s where I want to be!” He always knew our work was about the children. He supported all the steps we were taking to expand our reach and fulfill even bigger dreams than his grandfather had had. Last year, Brian Farragher had a chance to visit with him in Minneapolis and tell him about our work with Sanctuary. As always, he was greatly interested and encouraging. Brian told him a story about one of our children who had made a particularly heroic recovery from early life trauma. Mr. Andrus responded, “even that one story is enough to tell me that it has all been worth the investment we have made.” How fortunate for our children and for ANDRUS, that John E. Andrus III led the Andrus family’s commitment to the Memorial with such distinction.
Thinking About Sandy Hook
Brian Farragher, LMSW, MBA is the Chief Operating Officer at ANDRUS and has been with the organization for 25 years. He will be a regular on this blog commenting on working in the field of human services and children’s issues.
We were all shocked by the events in Newtown, Connecticut. I watched in horror as the news splashed across my television set as my wife and I prepared for our annual holiday party. It made the party preparation seem meaningless and silly.
In the days since this tragedy I have found myself growing more frustrated and angry with the coverage and the public discourse. How could this happen? What should we be doing about keeping guns out of the hands of the mentally ill? Should we arm school security guards? Each time there is a tragedy of this nature we seem to respond with the same level of shock and disbelief.
But some scary facts seem to elude us. The Children’s Defense Fund website reports that each week in America 350 children and teenagers are killed or injured by guns. Each year thousands of children suffer the physical and emotional scars associated with being the victims of gun violence. We rarely pay much attention, but we are living with death tolls and carnage like Sandy Hook each and every day, the events are just more dispersed over dozens of cities and neighborhoods across our county.
I just took a look at a website that lists all the baby product recalls and found that a stroller is being pulled off the market because the wheel lock malfunctioned and the stroller rolled away. In another case, a baby jogger was recalled because there were four instances in which small children fell out of the jogger seat and received scratches or bruises.
Now I am not arguing against making such products as safe as possible for our kids…but each year almost 20,000 children in this country are killed, maimed or injured by guns and to date our will to do anything about this reality is almost non-existent. We are apparently far more invested in protecting the “rights” of gun enthusiasts than we are in protecting the safety and well being of our children. I am reassured that someone is carefully watching how many children scrap their arms falling from a stroller, but I would feel much better if we could commit to pulling guns off the market so fewer of our children end up being shot on the streets where they live.
Reflections on Loss and the Newtown Tragedy
Nancy Woodruff Ment, LCSW, is the President and CEO at ANDRUS.
Tomorrow morning will mark the one week anniversary of the unimaginable massacre of innocents in Connecticut. The loss of so many so cruelly in the holiday season brings an added dimension of tragedy. Shouldn’t we be rejoicing, not mourning? Shouldn’t we be singing, not sobbing? For our country, this tragedy has become more vivid and terrifying than the countless images of violence and death around the world that fly over the internet onto our personal video screens. Unlike casualties far away, the victims of Newtown could be our friends, our neighbors, our family members. If it could happen to them, it could happen to us. And it could happen in a place that for every child and parent, and for every staff member certainly felt like home.
As we feel pain for the grieving, we can’t help but struggle with anxiety associated with the recognition that there is, after all, no safe place. The intolerable sense of helplessness forces our rush to regain a sense of self-control — on the personal side -candles, teddy bears, vigils; on the political – more guns, fewer guns, assigning blame and exacting punishment. But there is no way to escape the pain. We can only face it and find a way to weave it into our lives.
Many of our colleagues are facing fresh personal losses in this season. Others are living with the agonizing decline of loved ones. Still more are feeling afresh the past losses of beloved family and friends who aren’t here to share the holidays. In spite of the pain that loss brings, would one of us give back a single memory of that dearly loved person? I know that we would never say “I wish I had never known him because then I wouldn’t have had to endure losing him.” Loss is the price we pay for loving. Finding ways to incorporate loss into our lives becomes the strategy for moving forward.
How will we move forward? We will do it by recommitting to Sanctuary and everything it teaches us about the power of community to heal. We will do it together. We will do it as staff from our Mental Health Division have done – going to schools in the communities we serve to give language to staff and children about loss and safety. We will do it as faculty from the Sanctuary Institute have done – reaching out to organizations across the country to offer solace and ways to come together for support. We will do it as work teams across ANDRUS have done – offering hugs, sharing feelings, creating ways of memorializing those lost, taking stands on gun control and dispelling myths about mental illness.
Tomorrow at 9:35 am will be one week to the minute when the first shots were fired in Sandy Hook School. Let each of us, across our Divisions and programs, find ways to observe that moment together, to honor not just those lost in Newtown but also our own loved ones who still live in our hearts. It is only by facing loss that we will, together, find our way forward, honoring the memory of all whom we have loved. Let us be joyful because they will always be part of us.
Response to Newtown
Nelson Ureña is Sanctuary Institute Faculty Member at ANDRUS.
Along with the rest of the nation, I grieve over the deaths of 20 innocent and precious children. It is these moments that really call for us to be emotionally intelligent and ask the right questions. I learned about the events in Newtown CT, via social media and it immediately became clear to me how shocking and traumatic this event has been for our entire nation. Of all the comments I read via social media, the common theme has seemed to be “how could someone be so evil?”
Not immune to the trauma of such an event, I also lost center and began to question my safety and the safety of my loved ones. Immediately I began to point fingers at what I thought was at the root of this “evil.” It seemed to me at the moment, that we as a nation need to address the issue of gun control, and that there need to be more rules around how individuals gain access to guns. As a result of this line of thought I entered into many heated arguments around this issue, arguments which of course did nothing for me but create more division during a time in which we need to be more united. In many ways I allowed myself to be pulled into a reenactment which our nation has been engaged in since the drafting of our constitution.
It was not until after I slept on the issue that I was able to come to center and begin to see this event through a trauma informed lens. This morning I came to the sobering realization that I had been missing the very point which we, as Faculty of the Sanctuary Institute, stress to be the important issue when analyzing violent behaviors. So I fired up my computer and found the same questions being asked about the gentleman who committed this act of violence, “how could he be so evil?”
One of my favorite literary characters, Atticus Finch, tells us that in order to understand what drives people’s ill intentions, we have to “step inside a man’s skin, and walk around in it.” And so in my state of shock and disbelief about how a person could do such a thing, and what was “wrong with this guy,” I took Atticus’ advice and attempted to step inside this man’s skin because I really just could not come to terms with why and or how such a terrible thing could have occurred.
I think what Atticus tells us is that we have to be able to ask the right questions… “What has happened” to people and communities to lead them to act in such violent ways? It may be too soon to have any answers to this question as they pertain to the incident at Sandy Hook, but what I have learned over years of working in this field is that every behavior has a history. Thus it is important that we as a community of practitioners, citizens, politicians, stake holders and parents begin to look at these sort of events critically and ask the right questions before we try to “solve” the problem prematurely and point fingers at what we believe to be the root of all this “evil.” I think that asking these types of questions will help us come closer to identifying and addressing the real issues which are at the root of violence in our communities. What really has happened to this man (and is continuously happening in our communities) to cause so many mass shootings in our current history? And what can we do as a community to minimize the effects of the toxic stress and allostatic load we all face on a daily basis? Until we begin asking the right questions we will continue to blow out the smoke while ignoring the fire.
Sanctuary Conference A Success!
Sarah Yanosy is the Director of the Sanctuary Institute at ANDRUS.
O
ur annual Sanctuary Network Conference was held December 6-7 in Philadelphia, PA. I look
forward to Network Days each year the way that I look forward to my family’s summer vacation reunions! For me, Network Days is a chance to sit with “old timers” who can reminisce about the early days of that small but inspired community of Sanctuary dreamers. It is heartwarming to hear from the sites who have just found the rhythm in the steps of their journey and are blazing their own trails with the model. There is also the energizing enthusiasm of new sites, who bring expectation, creativity and hope – and who inspire in us those same feelings by asking hard questions and pushing us to construct new and better ways to engage others in changing the world. This year, with the largest turnout ever from 85 agencies across the country and from as far as AUS, we succeeded in connecting, refueling and empowering this global force for change with brilliant keynote addresses, workshops, and opportunities to share. I could not be more proud of the work we are doing and my team of geniuses who pulled it off!
How the community helped me become a better leader…
Alexandria Connally, MS Ed, is the Assistant Principal of The Orchard School at ANDRUS.
About three years ago, I had the wonderful opportunity to become the Assistant Principal of the Orchard School. I felt that I was well equipped for the job. Before I took the position I was an accomplished teacher and had worked as a teaching assistant for many years. In addition, I held a Master’s degree in teaching and earned a second Master’s in School Administration. I knew the children, staff members and politics of the agency. I could navigate internal systems to obtain the resources I needed. So, taking on this position seemed like a no-brainer. I soon realized the problem was not my technical skills; it was my adaptive skills.
Recently, I attended the Harvard University Principals’ Center, Aspiring Leaders Program. It was a wonderful experience, but my big take-away was something that one of my professors said. “90% of the professional development we receive as leaders is technical knowledge, but 90% of the really important issues that leaders face are related to their adaptive skills.” Unfortunately, not enough Master’s level programs focus on the adaptive work.
As an assistant principal I understand that it is important to understand crucial topics such as curriculum and instruction, budgeting, scheduling, building security and assessment data. But I now know it is just as important to understand leadership styles and how to seamlessly flow through them. It is not easy to be a rock in the chaos of a school day but during a crisis my teachers look to me for direction. If I stumble the entire structure could fall apart. By the same token when a decision has to be made that will affect many of the teachers and students, I need to take a democratic approach. At the same time I may need to coach a teacher through a lesson or managing a struggling student.
So, how do I stay on task? I surround myself with wise leaders. I seek out mentors who are honest, intelligent and show good leadership skills. A few years ago, one of them helped me realize that the way I perceived myself may not be how others perceive me. In light of this revelation, I gave my teachers a list of six leadership styles and asked them to rate me. I have to admit it was a painful experience. I then asked them to help me overcome my deficiencies. I can still remember the surprise looks on their faces. Initially, there was silence but eventually we were able to move on to the important challenge I had presented them. That opportunity opened the door for my staff members to have open and honest conversations with me. I am not a perfect leader and I continue to work on the lessons I’ve learned in this job. Today, I am a more ambitious, innovative and effective leader. The most important lesson I have learned is self-reflection and the value of demonstrating a willingness to change–all signs of a good leader.
What a Feeling…
Maxine Reddy is a Faculty member at the Sanctuary Institute.
Earlier this month I had the honor and pleasure to deliver a keynote speech to the attendees of the Nebraska Association of Homes and Services for Children. For me to have the opportunity to address a room filled with service providers, about the Sanctuary Model and its benefits to organizations, was a dream come true. I have been exposed to the Model for many years and felt excitement as I began to prepare my story. However, my excitement did not transfer quickly or easily onto paper; well, the computer screen. I had so many thoughts that I wanted to be sure to share: the incredible change that I was a part of at Green Chimneys, where we implemented the Model, the transformations I have seen at other organizations that have taken the road to Sanctuary, the wonderful and imaginative people I have come into contact with through my Sanctuary journey, and the truly fun ways I have seen these concepts move from the original five-day training, to the steering committee, the core team, the staff and clients and customers. I am a true believer that if we make things fun, more people will be interested and involved.
As I had once again the privilege of listening to Dr. Sandra Bloom present a session on Trauma Theory, I decided that this concept would be the framework in which I would tell my story. In addition to preparing the didactic component of the speech (of course I was taking copious notes) I started to think about how understanding trauma theory has helped me in my work and with people in general. I decided to focus on the Sanctuary principles of (1) understanding that all human beings have experienced adversity in some way, and (2) changing the question we ask from ‘what’s wrong with you?’ to ‘what happened to you?’.
I shared my personal stories of how I have come to change my lens when interacting with co-workers, customers, friends and strangers; and the wonderful way this changed my relationship with myself. I began to be less critical and demanding of perfection. I also shared a very moving experience with the group about a small village in southeast Alaska called Elfin Cove; population 24 in the summer months (due to the abundant fishing opportunities), 10 in the winter months after all the seasonal members leave. I saw a man on the docks (there are no streets, only docks in this town built on the water’s edge) acting very strangely. I made the determination that he was ‘on something’ and made my way along as quickly as I could. That evening, back with my tour group, this small village and this man was the talk at the dinner table. Then someone, later I found out he was a doctor, offered that this man has Huntington’s disease, a debilitating illness. In that moment of understanding, I thought of this person in terms of what has happened to him, and my experience of what I had witnessed out on the docks completely changed. My fear was replaced with compassion.
So I told my stories and related them to components of trauma theory and felt that I had done Dr. Bloom and my colleagues proud. So, to put a word to my feeling on this day of my first opportunity to deliver a keynote speech, I feel proud of myself and exhilarated to be a part of the Sanctuary Institute.
Stable Truths
David McCorkle is a Sanctuary Institute Faculty Member.
I have been doing Five Day Trainings since the beginning of The Sanctuary Institute. One of the riches of the trainings in the beginning was working with a team of trainers. We had different training styles and learned from each other. Recently, at The Crossnore School in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina, I again co-facilitated a Training with a team of trainers–but only two were human. The other four trainers were Dakotah, Goldie, Rock Star and Willow. They are horses and a part of the Equine Therapy Stable at Crossnore. The other two people on the team were the Sanctuary Co-ordinator, Kelly Smith and the Equine Therapist, Melissa Parlier. The three of us had decided to utilize the learning power that we had observed with the Crossnore children in Equine Therapy. We decided to use the horses in the Organizational Culture and Barriers and Obstacles segments of our training. We would not use bridles or a lead rope. It was a first and not only was I nervous about working with the horses, I wasn’t sure that they would agree to follow the training agenda.
The horses did agree to train us, but in their own way. We gathered in a standing circle for the beginning of our
afternoon training. When we went back to our chairs, the horses were standing in or around our chairs. They clearly were ready to start teaching us. What they taught was that you have to speak clearly and gently, and your posture must show love, respect and trust. As soon as we were dishonest or tensed up, they wouldn’t budge. When we relaxed into respecting each other, they led us through the Sanctuary Seven Commitments and SELF as we participated in the exercises. When we felt Safe, they were safe. When we worked on managing our Emotions, they were helpful. When we worked through our Losses of being in control, they trusted us. They practiced Future by showing us how feelings influence others and how our fears can be barriers to creating a new climate of mutual trust. They also showed us that our ways of overcoming obstacles can be very limited and unimaginative. Some stepped over the barriers while others simply decided to walk around them. Others just decided to dismantle the barriers in a very strategic way. One gentle push of a hoof and the barriers came tumbling down. And all of this was done safely and side by side with us. The Evaluations of our training day were filled with comments that the trainees learned so much about Sanctuary by getting help from our horse trainers. Almost everyone requested that every future training include the equine trainer team. The horse trainers deeply and completely taught us that we learn most fully not just by talking but by experiencing.
Veterans Day: Remembering One of Our Own
Lew Janavey is a Teacher at the Orchard School at ANDRUS.
On Monday November 12th our nation will remember, mourn, celebrate and THANK our veterans of the Armed Forces for all they have done and will do for our freedom. This day means so much to all of us in many different ways. On August 8th , 2005 this day changed for me and so many of us at ANDRUS.
Unfortunately, it was on that day in Baghdad, Iraq that we lost one of our own Sgt Anthony N Kalladeen of the United States Marine Corps. For those of you who didn’t know Anthony his life story, though only 26 years long, was an inspiration to all of us, and all of our children.
Anthony was a resident of ANDRUS from the time he was dropped off here at age nine with his brother, until he went to college. Anthony graduated from ANDRUS and went on to White Plains High. It was at this time that Anthony joined the Young Marines organization. Always with an eye on the military with such hopes as attending West Point or other military schools. After high school he joined the Marines and served his four years, always coming back to visit in his uniform to show us how proud he was. When Anthony finished his four years, he enrolled at Purchase College, all the while helping others in so many ways. He was a Resident Director guiding younger students in the dorms at Purchase. During this time he also worked here at ANDRUS in several capacities, helping out in the cottages, life guarding, and working for our Facilities Department as a custodian at McGee Hall. This was the time Anthony and I grew very close, helping each other out with school work or chatting about college, the military or where we both thought our futures would take us.
Anthony always felt he wanted to return to the military in some way. He was now a leader in the Marine Youth Corps of Westchester, as well as enlisting in the Army National Guard. This decision is what led him back to Iraq.
All through his life Anthony faced many obstacles and took them on with a positive outlook and much integrity. He never talked bitter about his past. Instead, he embraced what was ahead of him. He was ALWAYS looking to help others in one way or another. This is why I often mention Anthony to our students. His attitude, and work ethic will always be an inspiration to EVERY child that comes through our agency.
Please join me today to take a few minutes to Honor, Thank, and Think about our friend Anthony and ALL of our veterans and present service people for what they do every day!